What's the matter with mass?

I need to keep this going, had some interesting thoughts (oh yes!) but forgot to blog about them.

Mass appears to us in three forms.  The first is fixed to matter, giving matter its inertia and its weight in a gravitational field.  The second is dark matter, which is not matter at all because after decades of searching for it there is nothing there but mass, like the grin on a Cheshire cat.  This is Detached Mass (DM, conveniently).  The third is the mass in black holes, where any matter attached to it is unlikely to survice in a form we recognise, although obviously mass is retained when its matter enters a black hole.

I just want cosmologists to let their minds separate matter from mass and to detach the idea that everything has a particle associated.  At some point the null result of the dark matter particle search should be taken as an outcome, and a new approach tried.